
I’m taking entries for the most bats**t crazy vaccine conspiracy theories. Have you got one?
My favorite so far is from small, isolated churches in the south who tell their congregations that the vaccine contains nanochips that enable the Antichrist to track you. Then if you disobey him, he can just push a button and basically your head will blow off your body.
My 70 year-old friend told me about that one. She was going to get the vaccine, but her sister in Texas told her about the Antichrist nanochips, and she loved her sister. I’m sure her sister is a lovely woman and even the pastor means well. But, as I pointed out to her, if the Antichrist wanted to track you, he could just use your cell phone GPS. She got the shot and had no bad effects.
An early one was that Bill Gates invented Covid so you’d get the vaccine and become a communist. When I ask why Bill Gates wants us to be communists, I get no coherent answer, nor even a coherent definition of communism.
Conspiracy theories are back with a vengeance, like when that Kenyan Muslim Obama was elected president. It’s interesting as a social phenomenon. WHY do batches of these bizarre narratives pop up at certain times? People are obviously scared, they perceive some danger, and react with possible explanations. We humans absolutely and understandably HATE to be in danger and not know why. So we make shite up to feel better.
‘Conspiracies’ do exist. A conspiracy theory is just a narrative possibly explaining who, what, when, and why. Every now and then they are truthy-ish. More often they are ridiculous. The fact is that medical folks have done some bad stuff: MKUltra mind control experiments, the Tuskeegee project, to Israel injecting Ethiopean Jewish immigrants with birth control drugs.
Massive distrust of government-medical policies exist because there has actually been some abuse from that direction in the past. They need to behave in a trustworthy manner to earn our trust. That does not mean vaccines are a weapons to blow off our heads, make us communists or sterilize us. As I read biographies from the pre-vaccine eras, I see something like, “They had ten children, two of whom survived,” over and over again. The others eight died from measels, or diptheria, or smallpox and the parents were just as heartbroken then as they would be now. Vaccines have saved millions of kids.
I got all my “shots” and remember when polio shots came out. A young friend said, “Yeah, you were OK, but what about long-term effects?” I said, “Well, I’m 70 now, extremely healthy, so that’s pretty long term.” I’ve been researching the Covid shot, weighing risks vs. benefits, and will get it. Covid is a virus, it doesn’t know we exist, we are just fuel for the fire, new environments to exploit. I’m getting the vaccine so when a Covid virus lands on my shore, my antibodies will rush out and shout, “Die, you spikey little bastard!”