Slutty the Stork

Slutty the Stork

Slutty gourd polymer clay glass eyes 24″ tall

Last week I was sick, a very rare event. My friends thought it was Covid and one friend dragged me down for a test, which was negative. I found my brain wasn’t sharp and I could not work on the oil painting-two toddler girls sharing a flower. Way too challenging for brain fog and sore muscles. But I didn’t want to lay around staring at the ceiling.

So I found the log I’d been saving, (“Why the heck do you have this log in the closet?” asked my Inner Sane Person) found the appropriate gourd and made a Gourdy bird. I have lots of Gourdy birds, which are made from…well, gourds, polymer clay, and glass eyes. I can make them without too much effort. Then I give them a redneck name and they join the Gourdy bird family.

M friend Donna frequently brings clothes to my apartment. This has happened so often I’d probably run around naked by now if she did not. I never think about clothes, I just throw something on before I go outside. She takes interest in the art I’m working on, so she noticed the unfinished painting and the beginnings of the stork.

Now storks brings babies, as Hallmark Cards reminds us. Where did we get that idea? Well, they often nest on chimneys and maybe a home with a nesting stork also was blessed with a baby that year? They also migrate and return in nine months, so maybe that added to the legend?

I finished the stork and was sitting on the bench with Donna and Carol, shooting the shite.

Donna: How’s the stork coming?

Me: I finished her today. Had trouble with the nest-it’s hard to build a bird nest if you’re not a bird.

Donna: What’s her name?

Me: I need a redneck*girl name. You tell me.

Donna: Harley?

Me: Hmm…Can you think of a redneck girl name that starts with an S?

(Silence and deep thought)

Donna: SLUTTY.

We all laughed. Hey, I didn’t say it. Donna from Texas did.

So here is Slutty the Stork in honor of Donna.

*”Redneck” has a positive ring around these parts. Does it sound derogatory to you? Why? What do you think about rednecks? ‘Slutty,’ however, may be problematic if I ever have an exhibit of Gourdy Birds. Can you think of an alias redneck girl name suitable for public consumption?

Send it to me at

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