If you never ran into a narcissist, you will. Characteristics of a narcissist are:
“…a pattern of self-centered, arrogant thinking and behavior, a lack of empathy and consideration for other people, and an excessive need for admiration. cocky, manipulative, selfish, patronizing, and demanding. “
This is who they are; we can all be Aholes now and then, the narcissist is a perpetual Ahole. They won’t change, but they’ll sure mess you up and leave you bleeding on the curb with nary a backward glance.
I’m going to relate my last encounter with a classic narcissist. She joined the studio where I was the director and just laid into me when no one else was around. I was hanging member’s art work on the display board.
“You have no right to invade their privacy like that.”
“But they like their paintings to be hung. Have liked it for two years.”
“Ask permission or you’re pushing them around. And you use other member’s space.”
“We don’t have an exclusive space, we share the tables.”
“Don’t touch my space.”
“You abuse and control these people.”
(Do I? That would be terrible. But wait, they all like me…)
“If I hurting them, I should just leave.”
She leaned forward and hissed: “I think that would be a good idea.”
I admit, it bothered me. I did two days of self-examination and asked some members, who said she was nuts.
She attacked again. When I tried to respond, she said, “This conversation is over!!!”
She attacked again, accusing me of stealing(!) and telling me other people said I ruined the studio. I started the studio, so before I did, there was nothing to ruin.. Also she said I was using members to promote myself.
None of this was true, but I wasn’t allowed to respond.
This was stressful, but I probably could have taken it if she didn’t reach out when I was visiting my family in another state to attack again-twice, by phone and email.
I decided I didn’t need this crap in my life, so I resigned as director. Other members asked me to stay, and I cared about them, but that’s like staying with the abusive hubby “for the sake of the kids.” It doesn’t do anyone any good, certainly not the kids.
So I left, no contact. She will find someone else to abuse, because the only way she can be tallest is by cutting off somebody else’s head.
If you are in a relationship with a narcissist, get out. For better understanding of your situation, watch Surviving Narcissism on Youtube. You’re not alone.
Best wishes, Je’.