Naked Pleasantville

Naked Pleasantville

This place is touted as heaven on earth, Pleasantville complete with 1945 music and Norman Rockwell prints on the walls. There are 800 stories in Naked Pleasantville, and this is one of them.

I saw Jeff moving out last night. He’s moving out to shack up with the latest lady he’s charmed. They are both in their 70’s. Jeff is tall, slim and works out at the gym. He wears a pirate patch over his eye to look rakish and has a pet chicken. He’s intelligent and grew up in the Bronx, so he defends his honor (and he expects a lot of honor) with brute force. He ain’t taking no s**t from nobody.

He’s quite the womanizer, he even tried to womanize me. I’ve got to hand it to him, he took the honest approach, just came out and said we should have sex. I told him ‘no’ and he left. He soon had another lady, 94 years-old and rich. He likes to use women for sex and/or money and has been quite successful at that. I guess I was sex and the 94 year-old was money.

Jeff hated Dana. Dana was tall and wiry in that Boston Yankee way. He had rapidly advancing Parkinson’s. Last year I talked philosophy with him for 30 minutes and he made perfect sense. This year he could not hold his coffee still enough to keep it from sloshing out of the cup. Dana did aggravating things, like snap out the lights in public rooms. He said he was the volunteer electrical inspector. He stole the money from our community coffee jar and said it was payment for his volunteer services. Aggravating, but physically weak and non-violent.

Jeff insisted Dana did these things because he was an evil jerk. I told Jeff that Dana had an organic brain disease. Jeff said I was full of crap, Dana was just an Ahole and needed to learn a lesson.

So two months ago, Jeff slugged Dana in the eye. He said Dana attacked him. Witnesses said no. Dana’s eye socket was huge and purple and though Dana did not have the sense to do so, he was sent to the ER, where the doctor filed assault charges though Dana did not have sense enough to do that, either.

When the court date came, Dana did not have enough sense to present his side and the case was dismissed.

So Pleasantville administration threw Jeff out for potentially tarnishing it’s reputation. Dana has gone back to Boston, which is good; he wasn’t getting care around here. Jeff convinced some lady to move out and take him to a home she owns elsewhere. Bye Jeff.

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