I came for the Apocalypse and all I got was this lousy T shirt

How have you been? Good I hope.

I’ve been writing a grown-up book, and just like when I write kid’s books, it turns out to be a lot more work than I imagined when I launched into the project. Getting anything done requires both inspiration and perspiration, but I prefer the former to the latter. How about you?

tribulation tetrad Tshirt
tribulation tetrad Tshirt

The book is about how I came to be an ex-Christian Zionist and knowing I will get a lot of heat, I may have overdone the “impeccable sources” part. In my research on Apocalypse stories down through the ages, (which are just as fascinating as origin stories, but with more gore) I came across the latest wrinkle in the Apocalypse story.

It is a variation on the Christian Zionist story that Israel must prosper because the Jews must be in place to get wiped out or converted at the End of the World. Here is the variation:

Blood moons coincide with Jewish holidays rarely, but this rare event will have occurred four times on September 28, 2015. Those in the know call this the Tribulation Tetrad and Christian Zionist pastor John Hagee warns, “I believe that we have arrived at the “two-minute warning” on God’s clock…we do not know how much time we have left. What we do with the time remaining will make all the difference in the world…and in eternity.”

Oh no, what will we do with the time remaining?! Hagee would like you to send things, namely: 1) Money to him 2) emails to congress to demand support for absolutely anything Israel wants. And act now, because “we do not know how much time we have left.”

Well, let’s see, we might have until September 28th and we can’t run about naked until then, so how about a Tribulation Tetrad Tshirt? It’s only $22 and what difference does money make? It’s all going up in smoke anyway! Might as well store treasure up in heaven by sending a bunch of money to Hagee while you’re at it.

I have a prophecy.

By November 1, 2015 -All Saint’s Day- thousands of Christian Zionists will be be heard to say:

“I came for the Apocalypse and all I got was this lousy T shirt.”

Relax with a jigsaw puzzle of the Apocalypse. Fun for the entire family.
Relax with a jigsaw puzzle of the Apocalypse. Fun for the entire family.

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