Sir Lord Chauncey Twitass Has a Dream

Sir Lord Chauncey Twitass is my archetypal name for all the upper class twits who live so high above the unwashed masses, they would get nose bleeds if only they had hearts to pump blood that high.

Sure, Sir Lord Chauncey is an obnoxious Ahole but he is still a human being and has dreams, just as we all do. He dreams of a world cleansed of noxious effluvia in the form of poor people, who aren’t exactly people at all, but evolutionary dead ends. At least they would end dead if the silly bleeding hearts would stop interfering with nature by such fruitless projects as feeding them.

Sir Chauncey dreams of a world of stability and order. The pyramid upon which he sits his tender arse is stable as long as he and the better sort are on top.  What could be more stable than a pyramid? The noxious Poors are the lower stones holding him up there and if only they would learn that that is their place in the natural order and stop wiggling around, everything would be fine. Damn those Poors.

If only they would be obedient and accept the natural order. But no, they are an immoral lot, as proven by their disobedience, intransigence and by the very fact that they are poor.  Never mind, all tactics will be employed to prevent them from creating instability, including slow motion genocide (aka austerity), propaganda and police state protection.

Sir Lord Chauncey isn’t all bad. He wants the Poors to love their position, as Sir Lord Chauncey loves his. He is generous in his donations to think tanks, universities and politicians to further his benevolent interest in the Poors being happy on the bottom of the pyramid.

Sir Lord Chauncey wants his blueblood family and a few other blueblood families, (the better sort) to live on spacious estates with just enough Poors to groom the horses and trim the hedges. He wants vast wildlife areas, off limits to the Poors, of course, where he and his peers can indulge in the manly sport of shooting the animals and posing for pictures with their carcasses.

Yes, that’s the life. That’s stability. That’s the dream of Sir Lord Chauncey Twitass-and he is duty-bound to work toward his dream, not only for his sake, but for the world’s sake and for the sake of all the little Twitass heirs.