Don’t judge me unless you have been tempted as I was tempted.
What is your earliest memory? I ask because I hope to find someone with memories as freakishly early as mine. Perhaps my memory got a jump start when I stuck the scissors into the electrical outlet at about eight months. “They stick things in there. Why can’t I?”
Perhaps you only remember things freakishly early if something dramatic happens, like an explosion. I caused an explosion when I was tempted beyond my limits by Dog.
I can still picture the bottom of the kitchen table and my parents’ legs under it. The floor was shiny and there, at Pop’s feet, lay Dog.
This time, THIS TIME I will make friends with Dog. I will pet him, Nice, nice, (like someone must have shown me.)
Dog: What are you doing?
Me: Nothing.
Dog: Yes, you are. You’re crawling toward me.
Me: I just want to pet you nice.
Dog: No, you don’t. You want to pull my hair.
Me: No, I will pet you nice (look at his long silky hair!)
Dog: Stay back.
Me: I will pet you. (Look at the shiny, wavy ears!)
Dog: I’m warning you!
Me: (Two hands full of shiny, silky Dog!)
Dog: RARR, RAAR, RAAR!
That’s when the room exploded. Chairs were hurled back, Mom said loud things and scooped me up, checking me for wounds. Pop said loud things and scooped Dog up, flinging him outside.
Dog had not laid a tooth on me. He had just faked biting my arm off. I couldn’t talk so I couldn’t tell them this and poor Dog was banished to a doghouse outside ever after. Dog was right. I started out to pet him nice, I really did, but the closer I got to his tempting silky hair, the more my mind filled with the ecstasy of burying both hands in it and giving it a good pull. It was my fault that Dog was banished.
I know, I know. But don’t judge me unless you have been tempted as I was tempted. : )
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