My Quotes

It’s not very self-effacing of me to enjoy my own quotes anymore than it’s cool of me to laugh at my own jokes. Yet I intend to go right on doing both. Here are a few quotes:

• He who comes to the battle of wits unarmed runs away yelling “Poopypants.”
• The Divine Right of Kings was invented by a quick-thinking monarch in response to: “So why are we working our butts off while you luxuriate on that throne?”
• History is propaganda with footnotes.
• We mostly get mythological versions of history. The truth is more knobbly-and more interesting.
• Foreign Policy: 1) Business interest threatened 2) That leader is the devil and will kill us all 3) Deadline/red line/line in the sand 4) Invasion and installation of compliant puppet 5) Lather, rinse, repeat as needed.
• Has any nation EVER succeeded at “building” another nation? Installing puppet dictators does not count.
• Brainstorming is a technique for coming up with innovative solutions to a problem. Blamestorming is a technique for avoiding the problem entirely.
• I wonder why “extraordinary” doesn’t mean extra ordinary-like really, really ordinary.
• In the U.S., if you’re not Native American you’re an immigrant. We play a game here: Last group off the boat are the goats. It’s kind of like trying to join a fraternity.
• Not true that we use only 10% of our brain. Its just that we only use 10% for THINKING. The rest is on automatic pilot keeping us alive.
• If every worker in the world refused to work for a week you would soon find out who produces wealth.
• For those who hate the government and taxes and love their guns, we should just free them on a wilderness preserve and let them work it out.
• Our ancestors did not survive because they were powerful, they survived because they came up with innovative responses to a changing world.
• Some think that without the Bible belt America’s pants will fall down.
• In U.K. they say “in hospital.” In  American we say “in the hospital.” This is because the U.K.’s austerity cuts include three letter words.
• Before science could detect bacteria and ultraviolet light, apparently those things were not REAL.
• Thomas Hobbes said we need an absolute monarch because we all suck so bad we’ll kill each other otherwise. Thomas Hobbes wasn’t a lot of fun at a party.
• The Homily on Obedience of 1547 stressed hierarchy, degree, order, subordination, and obedience. It was quickly followed by a wave of popular uprisings.
• We each have a piece of the puzzle and we fail to put it together because we refuse to admit that others might also have a piece.
• Intelligence is the ability to adapt to changing conditions. Therefore, rigid ideology is a form of self-imposed stupidity.
• When answering the question, “What is human nature?” people tend to describe them self. Beware of those who say humans are selfish predators.
• Most Christian literature is so cheesy it should be avoided by the lactose intolerant.
• I insist on the right to stand up for human rights for all humans without becoming a fawning fan of their religion or lifestyle
• I think we have so many movies about imperialistic aliens invading because we fear the karma for our own invasions.
• As far as historians are concerned, if there were no battles for 800 years-NOTHING HAPPENED